I’m a perfectionist, a high-achiever, a professional, a mom. I have to perform. I don’t get hurt or fooled or betrayed. And I sure as hell don’t fail….until I do.
For awhile, I can hide it. I can still hear the old commercial, “Never let them see you sweat.” Or, as many of us can relate to, never let them see you cry. Hiding the hurt or disappointment works…until it doesn’t.
Many of us will create distractions or make ourselves incredibly busy when we’re struggling emotionally so that there’s no time or capacity to deal with ‘our issues.’ In some cases, we’ll create new problems because the new don’t seem as bad as the existing. Unfortunately though, the first problem never goes away and now we have two or three or four and…… a mammoth bar tab and three day hangover.
Oftentimes, the old problems, hurts, disappointments, keep showing up in our lives and sometimes in places we would never expect. Never dealt well with ending toxic relationships and now have a staff of underperformers that you just can’t fire? Hmmm…could there be a connection? Something underlying there that hasn’t been settled?
We’ll replay memories over and over. We’ll succumb to exhaustion and compromise our values. We’ll try to make it okay when in fact, it isn’t. It was a shithole of an experience that haunts us. It ripped out our heart, stomped on it, and walked away. Be pissed off, be hurt, scream, punch the stuffing out of your pillow, do what you have to do, but be with it. Be with it for as long as it takes to let it go.
Because not letting it go, is holding you back.
Looking that pain straight in the eye and letting the hurt wash over you and still breathing when it’s over is a testament that there is another day, a new start, lessons learned. You have survived. You are strong.